Once A Year
by One Earth
Summary: Craig was sitting in the toilet cubicle of a rancid club when something in him broke after a long time. Ironically, Tweek was the one who came in at that moment picking up those pieces and putting them together. / Creek / Tucker-family
1. damaged

**To be clear: I am not the author of this fanfiction. I am only the translator. The real author is the german author LittleDisasterMind.**

Slowly, I opened my eyes and blinked a few times. Headache, I had a disgusting headache. My stomach did not want to make it easy, because the feeling of nausea rose in me. I really did not want to get that far again. I had no plan of where I was. I lay half naked in a bed that was not mine and in addition to a person of whom I could have sworn never met her. This slept deeply and firmly, which betrayed me to at least his snoring.

I urgently needed a toilet. The increased salivation in my mouth showed me that it was always ready. Without waking up the guy next to me, I jumped out of bed. With quick steps I left the bedroom and tore every door that came towards me until I found the bathroom. In time, I could bend over the toilet, because in just a few seconds felt everything came out, what I had in my stomach.

After emptying my stomach contents, I sat on the cold tiles of the bathroom. I tore off toilet paper and wiped my mouth with it. I hated to puke it. The few tears that had come out of my eyes through the gag reflex I quickly wiped away with the back of my hand.

After a few minutes, I struggled to get up and stood on my feet again. I went over to the mirror. Deep dark circles under my eyes were drawn and the paleness in my face made them stand out again. Damn, I looked like shit again. I turned on the tap and splashed cold water on my face.

Although I was no longer sick, but my headache was not less, so I decided to go home immediately. But the main reason was the guy who owned this apartment. I could do without a meeting with him very well.

I left the bathroom and walked softly through the apartment. With a slight crunch the bedroom door opened. My eyes wandered through the entire bedroom. Where were my damn clothes? I left the room again. I studied the hallway and noticed that my clothes were scattered on the floor.

I picked up garment by garment and pulled on my clothes one after the other. When I was sure I had everything, I put on my shoes and left the apartment quickly.

,

,

,

Once in my apartment, I rummaged in my medicine cabinet for painkillers. When I grabbed one of the last ibuprofen tablets out of my closet, I threw them in and rinsed them down with a sip of water. Then I stripped my clothes off my body and got into the shower. The sweat and all the dirt from the previous evening I washed from my body and I had the feeling to be a little less dirty. After the shower, I threw myself in my unmade bed. The blinds in my room were as good as always, so it was pitch dark, which did not bother me much. My phone which I had previously connected to the charging cable vibrated and I took it in the hand.

Several people had written to me and I already knew the reason of two of them. Mom, Ruby, Kenny, and others who seemed less important to me. Like every other time, I ignored my mother's messages. There were more than usual. I would not have expected anything else.

My little sister had asked me if I was fine and if I would come home the days. I bit my lip. I answered the former with a short "yes" and a "how are you?", The latter question I ignored skilfully, I did not want to think about that now.

And then I opened Kennys and my chat.

We were best friends and knew each other since high school. After that we moved together with Butters in the same city. Although we did not see each other as often as we did back then when we were at school together, I was more than happy to acknowledge that the more we saw each other when we saw each other again. Since then we have not really distanced ourselves. I went to college and he ... he went to work. If you could call it that.

"Got something today, come over?" He wrote to me.

A quick glance at today's date did not make me hesitate and so my fingers literally flew over the keyboard.

"Sure, but will be late with me. Maybe I'll be there at 11pm. "I replied.

I just had to lie down for a few hours and then I was back at the start. This worked out well in the last few months.

"Good, wait as always in front of the entrance." Was his last message.

I answered with a simple "Okay" and then put my phone aside. I would answer the remaining messages later. I made myself comfortable in my bed and snuggled into my blanket and fell asleep immediately after a few minutes.

,

,

,

After my sleep I changed, ate a bite and left the apartment. I ran to the stop and spurted something, because I was already late.

In fact, I arrived 5 minutes before the bus. To get the wait, I lit a cigarette. I took a train and the smoke from my lungs became one with the night air. For a few minutes, I had the feeling of complete relaxation in me.

A few moments later the bus came, so I dropped my cigarette and stepped out. The bus ride was quiet. I leaned my head against the cool glass of the bus and peered outside, only the streetlamps and neon lights lighting the streets. Maybe two or three people were sitting in the bus. Normally no people drove to this part of the city at this time. Understandably, there were only malformations of society on the way. People you would go out of the way at night.

When the bus stopped and I got out, my phone vibrated again.

"Hey, I'm here, hope it does not bother you that I took my friend and a buddy."

Dumbass. He knew very well that I did not like it when he took strangers with him. I have nothing against Butters, absolutely not. He is literally an angel, if not innocent person. But what bothered me was this other company. Most of these were pretty unsympathetic to me and too intrusive. Acquaintances of Kanny halt.

"By me, but woe is that again one of your funny friends." I wrote.

"No, that's Butters best friend." Came back in less than a minute.

This news was somewhat calmer to my mind, but the skepticism remained.

I did not answer the message as I could already see the club, and so did the others. Kenny stood holding hands with Butters in front of the entrance and tapping something into his cell phone with his free hand. Beside the two, this friend stood by them.

He had honey blond hair and was just as tall as me. He also wore a dark green shirt, over which he wore a denim jacket, black pants and chucks. He stood a little uncertain and looked around, bury his hands in his trouser pocket.

He looked pretty and did not live up to my expectations. I would have calculated with something else. But not with someone like that. Whether he has a girlfriend or a friend? Certainly. Someone who looked like that had to be forgiven.

When I was only a few feet away from them, Kenny saw me and waved me Merry, also butter waved and smiled. "I just wanted to tell you where to stay." He explains and grins at me. "Hello, too." I said and returned the smile. We hugged each other for a moment. "All right with you?" I did not hesitate and said my standard answer. "Sure, you?" "Also." He smiles at me honestly. "Good to hear." Butters hugs me briefly and greets me. My gaze wanders to the stranger.

"So Craig, this is Tweek. He is a very good friend of mine. Tweek, this is Craig. "Butters introduces each other.

"Hey," I say, shaking his hand. He looks a little nervous, but returns the gesture and shakes my hand. "Hello." His hand is a bit sweaty. Looking closer at his facial expressions, I notice that he had slight freckles and brown eyes, which was a pretty cute wagon.

"Do we want to go in?" Kenny asked us and we all nodded in agreement. Kenny knew the owner, so we came in vain. He knew a lot of people who had a good time with him, which was mainly due to his work. One of the few advantages of his 'job'.

After sitting in a small sitting area, Kenny nudged me with his elbow. "I go get drinks, come with me?" Immediately I knew what he meant by that. "Sure." I nodded.

"For Butters as always a coke and for you?" I asked the blonde. "For me please a V + Cola."

"Well, we'll be right back." With these words, we disappeared into the bathroom in a cabin.

"And? How do you like him? "Kenny asked me while he pulled out a white powder sachet and formed two lines with a card on his cell phone.

"How now?" I asked back.

He rolled his eyes. "Yes, who? Tweek, of course. "

"That was planned, right? That comes with "

"No, not really, Leo had spontaneously asked me if it would be alright if he took him. But I could see just how you vulted him afterwards. "The blonde explained with a grin and forms a small tube with a 20's.

"Do you have any perceptual disturbances? I have not vultured! "I defended myself and crossed my arms.

"You've looked at him, but earlier than necessary." He still grinned.

"May be," I admitted, studying the streams under my feet.

"Good, but do me the following favor. Please do not have one night stand with him. Tweek is nobody who would just get involved in One Night Stands, so if something is going on between you today, he wants more from you than just a simple fuck. So either leave it alone or just get started on something solid. Besides, he's Leo's best friend and I do not have to tell you how it will be when his and my best friend are at loggerheads right? "

I did not respond to his warning, the message was more than arrived, so I nodded silently. Actually, I did not mean to mess with him spontaneously. But if he did, then I could not do anything about it. I would not break his heart.

Kenny pulled the white powder through his nose and handed me the tube.

"Do not you have any pills?"

The other man looked at me with a raised eyebrow. "For sure? You have not been holding back lately. "

"Yes sure."

He looked at me skeptically, but then pulled out a bag.

"For the time being, but this is your last, understood?" He said and held the little bag on his open palm.

I just nodded and wanted to take the pill from his hand until he quickly closed it again. "Do you understand me Craig?"

I sighed. "Yes I understood you Kenneth." I emphasized his first name, while I looked him straight in the eye.

He opened his hand and so I took the bag. "You know, of course you can have your fun, after all I have, but in moderation. But I already told you that at the beginning. I do not want you to become a little junkie. "

"Yes mother, I got it."

In this situation, I feel like a son discussing with his mother.

It was not always like this.

He was not always like that. I was not always like that.

Kenny had already consumed more in the past, but then came Butters and everything had changed within a few months. He had stopped whining at once and after a few months, he had never lost a word about the very hard stuff he was taking from time to time.

It was immediately clear that there was something serious going on between them and after all those blows the Kenny had behind him, he had in my opinion butters more than earned.

And me? I was the complete opposite. At that time, I found all these one-night stands Kenny had, more than senseless. Other substances besides alcohol and grass did not bother me. I went maybe one or the other times on the weekend celebrate, nothing more. My biggest dream was to study physics.

But then came the turn. Things happened that should not have happened. The result was guilt. Terrible feelings of guilt. They tortured me most nights and to distract me from that I had found my own method.

The nightlife became my best friend. I acted reckless, did not hesitate and made easy. My new 'lifestyle' enabled me to banish that one day from my memory. At least for several hours and all this stuff helped me with it.

I swallowed the pill and washed it with water from the tap. We left the toilets and went to the bar where we got the drinks. Kenny took the order and got us two coke bottles, a V + and a beer. Actually, I wanted to protest, but before I could even start, Kenny pushed the Coke bottles into my hands and pulled me away from the bar.

"I do not have to tell you now why you do not get a beer or? You know what happens when you put all the stuff together. Or do I have to help you on the jump, what happened lately? Mixed consumption is simply not yours. "

My mouth stayed shut. Since when had he just become such a damned philistine? Or rather, since when do I mess up like that?

When we arrived at the other two, we both dropped to our seats.

Butters did not even rummage about why we stayed away so long, he could imagine. Instead, he tried to start a normal conversation while it was still possible. "How is your university going?"

Crap. "Good," I said, not letting my actual thoughts leave my mouth. Right now I did not want to talk about my problems. I'm here to hide exactly these.

The last few months I often read lectures was no secret, but that was currently accumulating and I no longer came along with the material a tiny little. If Butters found out, he would give me a good pat on the back. In that sense, Butters was like a mother. He worried too much about me, he was generally too concerned about people around him.

"Really? Are you going to lecture more regularly? "Kenny asked. I nodded and somehow shrugged. "Alright." I log. I did not feel like making a stand-up drama at all.

"How now?" Kenny asked me again. "Yes, no idea, can we talk about something else? Hey Tweek, why are you here anyway? "The words admitted harshly over my lips.

Tweek flinched and looked at me a bit startled, probably because of my tone. He pointed to himself and asked, "Me?" My eyes twisted and closed. "Yes you." Kenny and Butters looked at me a little warning and I sighed softly. It was that day, he made me crazy and incredibly irritable. Which did not give me the right to be a little asshole.

I scratched my neck. "Sorry, that should not sound as rude as it came over." I apologized immediately. Tweek grabbed something and then shook his head. "All right, that just surprised me a bit." He hid a strand of hair behind his ear. "And because of your question, I'm here because Butters forced me to."

The other brought out indignant air. "I did not force you, I gave you the opportunity to get out of your room." Butters said, blowing a cheek. Tweek sighed, "Yes mother, but what do you expect anyway? I'm in a pretty demanding job right now, so I just can not get out that often. "Butters looked at him blankly. "You're never going to party! You need break Tweek. You know, it's enough, we're both going to dance now. "

Tweek could not contradict him. Without another word, Butters pulled his arm to the dance floor. Kenny and I emptied our bottles, being the first one whose drink was empty. The feeling of warmth was already spreading in me and I realized how the pill was effective. After we finished our drink, we made our way and came to.

We found them relatively fast, as they were not completely immersed in the mass, but were relatively at the outer edge. Kenny approached Butters and hugged him from behind with his arms around his stomach and he gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. I approached Tweek, who was standing awkwardly next to the couple.

"Get used to it, that will happen much more often today." I said. "I know, I was already in the movies with the two of them, I was surprised that no staff came to throw them out, as much as they stuck together." He joked and I had to smile a bit.


	2. broken

Chapter 2: Broken

After more than two hours, the world looked different. Euphoria spread through me and I could have hugged anyone and anything. You could see that too, because I admittedly was quite out for body contact. I hugged Kennyt, put an arm around Butters one or the other and even Tweek was not spared from me. But actually that didn't seem to bother him, he returned the body contact and put his arm around me as we both hopped around to the music.

But that wasn't enough physical contact for me, I needed more. I often analyzed the room, looked to see if there were a few candidates who seemed willing and once it did a 'ping' on my radar.

There was this one guy who seemed to be staring at me the whole time. When our eyes met he gave me a suggestive look, which of course I answered by smiling at him. If his boyfriend hadn't angrily pulled him away at that moment, he would probably have come up to me. You could see it in his eyes.

"Hey, I'm going to have a smoke, are you coming with me?" Kenny got me out of his thoughts. I said yes, but was surprised at the plural he used. Butters didn't smoke. "I'll be there, okay?" Tweek meant and I looked at him more than amazed. "Great then, see you soon."

Craig and I walked through the crowd and then out the exit. As we stood outside I took out my cigarette pack and offered Kenny one, which he accepted with thanks. We both lit our glow sticks and there was silence between us for a few minutes until Kenny interrupted them.

"I'll stop." I looked at him. He had said that a lot, even before he got together with Butters. He wanted to be a role model for his little sister, but without the money he earned from his work, he would have this can not even continue to feed.

"I'm really stopping that today was the penultimate batch." He told me. "I'll start an apprenticeship in two months, it's clear. But please don't tell Butters about it, it should be a surprise." He said with a smile and took a drag on his cigarette. I nodded again and bobbed my foot a little uneasily, I had to move.

"The thought of you in real work clothes is quite unfamiliar, but I'm happy for you. Really. "I smiled at him and I had to admit that I was already proud of him. But I had the feeling that there was something else he hadn't told me about." What are you going to do? "

"I want to become an automotive mechatronics technician." Kenny said proudly and grinned at me. This grin faded a little when he started to make his next sentence. "But I'll have to move."

I looked at him in amazement. "Like right now? What about Butters and Karin? "

He breathed in and out briefly." I've thought it all through Craig, I have to get out of here. Everyone knows what I'm doing that is not an environment in which I can start anew. Butters I'll take her with me and Karin will have her degree next year in the summer. Then I'll bring her to us, but until then I'll keep sending her money. "

I kicked out my cigarette and took the next one out of my box. I needed something to hold on to, even if it was just a cigarette. In this situation it was my lifebuoy to which I clung convulsively. "How far are you moving from here?"

"Two and a half hours away by car." Said Kenny.

Two and a half damn hours. That couldn't be true. I would lose my only best friend. And there was nothing I could do, the reason in me forced me to. Kenny needed a fresh start, he just had to get away from here and still something tightened inside me.

I breathed in and out audibly, but then looked at Kenny and smiled. I couldn't let anyone see my pain. "I will definitely visit you." I assured him. "I hope so." He was half grinning at me now. I already knew that I would miss this idiot even if I never admit it openly.

Before I could say anything else, Tweek arrived and stood by us. Kenny looked back and forth between us and then grinned slightly. "I'll go in then, butters is waiting for us." And with that he disappeared.

We watched him go for a moment before turning our gaze away again. Tweek tucked a cigarette between his lips and felt his pockets for a lighter. "Damn it." He grumbled briefly, whereupon I simply held out my lighter to him. "Thanks." He said with the cigarette in his mouth and lit it.

"What are you studying?" I asked to loosen up the mood between us, actually I was never a particularly talkative person, but I had to distract myself and I was fine with any means, because I had already smoked my cigarette and so stayed with me no other distraction left. And at that moment the particle that I had thrown myself earlier helped me to start a conversation.

"Art." He said curtly and blew the air out of his lungs into the night.

"Cool."

"And you?" He asked back.

"Physics with astronomy as a focus"

"Also pretty cool." He said and I nodded.

After this one-word conversation, silence fell over us again. I peeked over at his hand. His cigarette was half-smoked, so somehow we still had to make up the time. And so I asked him the question that kept bothering you and which you only have to deal with too often:

"Do you have a boyfriend or girlfriend? " Exactly, love and that shit.

I didn't care if that came across as the worst pick-up, I really did care if Tweek was with someone. He grinned a bit and somehow I thought he was cute. "No, I didn't, and you?" I just shook my head with a smile. "Nothing."

"What is wrong with you?" Tweek asked me curiously and took one of his last puffs. "I never tried." I said very simply. I had never been in a relationship before and I would be 21 soon. "Why not?" I shrugged my shoulders. "One-off things have been enough for me so far." Tweek raised both eyebrows, somewhat amused. "So that's what you're like." I grin a bit. "Haha yes, guilty." Then I add "What about you?"

The blonde shrugs his shoulders "I broke up with my current ex-boyfriend almost six months ago. It just didn't fit between us anymore, but he understood, so we parted well. Well and from then on I concentrated more on learning. "Tweek explained to me and then flicked his cigarette butt on the floor.

I nodded in understanding." I see. " . So theoretically I would have a chance. But that again meant that I was considering doing something serious. And I wasn't ready for that.

Tweek shook himself a little. "Ah it's damn cold, should we go back in?" Only now did I realize that he was only wearing his green shirt. I was only wearing a black shirt myself, but I didn't notice the cold at all. "Of course." I nodded in agreement whereupon we both went back to the club and immediately headed for the dance floor. Or rather I forced Tweek to do so, because I dragged him into the crowd by his wrist.

.

.  
Minutes and hours passed in which I danced without a break. At first there was this unrest and this zest for action in me that I couldn't stop. But meanwhile this went down more and more. And so also the desire to have some 'fun' today. One or the other time I was danced to by some guys or girls, these people no longer interested me at the time, which is why I gave them a cold flash and preferred to keep dancing and enjoying the moment. Not having to face the harsh reality was out of the question at all.

But at some point this way of thinking came to an end and I found myself in front of the same hole that I stood in front of every day and threatened to fall into it.

I felt exhausted and my body needed fluids, so I went to the toilet. I was about to take a few sips from the tap when I noticed a guy looking at me from the corner. I was done with the world and my previous euphoria was gone, so I didn't feel like having a quick quickie on the toilet with anyone.

Before any pick-up line could echo through the room, I turned around and looked at the guy more than venomously. "You want what?" Scared off by my more than biting undertone in my voice, the stranger shook his head frantically and left the toilet.

The time had come when I just wanted to go home. I got out my cell phone to ask Kenny when she was going to leave, but then I noticed the many messages from my mother, which made me bite my lower lip for a moment. Like every other time, I actually wanted to ignore the messages from her, but something in me literally forced me to read through her messages from the past few days, which is why my thumb wandered on our chat and went on it.

It was a god damn mistake.

'Are you coming home on the 24th?'

The first message made me bite my lower lip nervously. I didn't want to go home. Not tomorrow. Not for the near future.

'Craig, it can't go on like this, you finally have to lock up.'

I chewed my lower lip. I can not do this. I can't finish, I can't forgive myself because I know very well that what I've done is unforgivable.

'Damn it, Craig, please don't be selfish, please come home for at least one day.'

I tasted blood and my hand was literally clutching my cell phone. She was more than right and still I wouldn't set foot in our house. I don't even want to think about him. I skipped a few messages from her and got to the last one.

'You're a disappointment Craig your father would be ashamed of you, we didn't raise a failure.'

I was shaking and tears formed in my eyes and my throat started to hurt. As so often at that time, she had given herself the complete edge. Even if I wanted to, I couldn't blame her. After all, I wasn't any better.

But what was worst was that she was right.

I noticed how more and more tears were running down my cheeks because everything was crashing into me. My worries, my internal conflicts, my problems. Everything fell mercilessly on me and I wanted to drown in my tears. My cell phone screen blurred in front of me, as did my surroundings. On a little shaky legs I made it to the next cabin in which I let myself fall on the folded down toilet seat.  
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My life was screwed. Within two years I had lost everything that was close to my heart. My father, my dreams and my best friend in two months. Shit what was I going to do with my life? A bitter sob left my throat. I clenched my fists, my fingernails pressing into the heel of my hand.

My parents were ashamed of me. They hated me because I was a fucking failure. A failure who got nothing. I was a coward, I ran away from my problems and as much as I wanted to stop, my legs moved on their own.

I abandoned them all. My mother drank more. My sister became more and more isolated from everyone. I am a terrible son and big brother.

My mind raced.

And then it happened. My fist landed on the metal door in front of me that protected me from the outside world. I kept hitting it. I couldn't help myself. I didn't notice in my outburst that there was already some blood on the door in front of me.

"Hello?" A familiar voice echoed through the toilet and I stopped abruptly.

"Craig is it you? Butters and Kenny have been looking for you all the time because you haven't written them back. "Damn shit, that's what I needed right now." I'll be right there. " I tried to say in a calm voice, which worked by then and he would certainly have bought me. But an unwanted sob left my mouth and I just would have loved to hit myself for it. There was a moment of silence until I heard footsteps approaching me. "Craig?"

No sound crossed my lips. I swallowed the words on my tongue and gave them no chance to watch the daylight. My voice wouldn't go along with that. It would collapse if I had said something at the moment.

I heard Tweek opening one toilet cubicle after another until he jerked mine. "Craig? Are you all right? "

Silence.

" Please talk to me or open the door. "

Again I said nothing.

"Shall I get Kenny and Butters?"

My hand moved to the lock immediately. I didn't have to have the two of them standing in front of the door and talking to me because they would definitely do that. You shouldn't worry too much, Especially not Kenny. He was already stuck with both legs in the shit.

I got up and peeked briefly from the small crevice that had formed after I opened the door a bit.

"I'm fine, okay? Please don't hollow it. "I pressed out rather softly.

Tweek looked into my eyes." You don't look like that, Craig, your eyes are all red. "

"Just go again, I'll be with you later." Tweek shook his head. I was about to close the door when he put his foot between them and just pushed through the door. He locked the door behind us and then looked at me carefully .

"Dude, are you still okay ?!" I said in a pissed off tone.

His facial expressions became sad. "You look terrible, you are very pale and your eyes-"

I was more than overwhelmed with the whole situation.

"Damn it, what do you want from me ?! Just let me- "I paused, felt dizzy and went black for a while, so I

slumped on the toilet seat . Tweek's expression changed instantly. He looked at me more than panicked." Oh damn Shit, you're telling me what's wrong with you. Have you overdone anything? Should we go to the sick- "

" No! "I said, shocked. I didn't want to go back to the hospital. How did he even know that I was wrong And then it occurred to me. I was friends with Kenny, so he knew I had something to do with all that stuff.

Tweek eyed me worriedly. Really concerned. I felt guilty. Why do I always have to make people unhappy?

"You're all sweaty." He said brushed some of my sweat-soaked strands from my face. It didn't bother me. On the contrary, I enjoyed the physical contact. I just needed that. I needed the feeling of affection and there it was I don't care that it was a halfway stranger who made me feel like this.

"I'll get you water, okay?"

Could I say anything but no at all? He wasn't going to give up anyway.

So I nodded in agreement and he smiled confidently at me.

And then he was gone and I was sitting alone in the cabin again.

After locking the door again, I propped myself up on my legs with my elbows and buried my head in my hands.

I felt sick on several levels and at that moment I would have done anything to lie in my bed. Just settle down between my pillows and blankets and wait for the time to fly by.

I wished I was 17 again and could just call my parents. They would pick me up and after that I would be safe in my bed and sleep peacefully.

But no, I'm 20 and my mom hates me. I would expect a lonely bus ride and a home that wasn't my home. It felt empty there and I could turn the heat up as high as I wanted, it stayed freezing in there.

Tears found their way down my cheeks again, I wiped them away with the back of my hand, which made me flinch. My tears came in contact with the wounds on my knuckles. I tried moving my hand, but it hurt every time I formed a fist.

The first thing I didn't notice was the knock on the cabin door until I heard my name.

"Craig?"

My hand moved to the lock and opened it. Tweek stood in front of me with a glass of water. He went through the door and closed it again. Tweek pressed the glass of water into my hand and crouched slightly in front of me .

"Is it okay?" He asked me after I finished the glass.

I nodded. "Yes, thank you." I said, barely audible, and put the glass on the floor.

There was silence between us for a few seconds until Tweek started talking. "So… what was that just now?

Was that just the drugs or did something happen? " I shrugged my shoulders. I didn't owe it to him to tell him anything about my private life. Basically, none of this was his business. I could have told him it it was just the drugs that were to blame for everyone here. But I was silent.

Tweek brushed some tangled strands of hair from his face. "You don't have to talk about it, it's just an offer, you know? Sometimes it helps if you're halfway with one Talking to strangers about his problems and not with someone who is very close to you. As I said, you don't have to tell me. "

I bit my lower lip, which was already sore from chewing around. Part of me didn't want that. Because that part knew that if I told everything again, I would start crying like a little girl.

But then there was this other part that told me to talk about it. That part of me believed that the wound would not tear open, but would take a tiny little step towards healing.

"You-"

"I screwed up very big shit and now my family hates me." I finally said and something inside of me contracted. It was more than a strange and scary feeling to say what you always thought.

He looked at me questioningly. "How did you get that Craig?"

"It- So I-" I didn't know how to begin.

Tweek seemed to see I was having trouble starting and put his hand on mine. "Take your time." He smiled gently at me.

I then took a deep breath in and out.

"My mother wrote to me and said things to me that I have already said to myself far too often. Things that break me piece by piece. "I started to tell.

"The whole thing was exactly 3 years ago tomorrow. I was around 16 or 17 years old and as is customary at that age, you just argue with your parents. My father and I drove back from the parents' day and we had a lot of arguments. "My eyes started to burn and my throat was also puffed up, so I took a short break to breathe in and out calmly.

Tweek gave me time and ran his thumb over the back of my hand.

"And at some point I told him he was a shitty father. Shit Tweek, I wasn't serious." I sobbed and my breathing quickened a little.

What I was doing was far more intimate than the sex I was having. I've only spoken to one person about this in three years, and it was Kenny. He helped me as far as possible and tried to build me up, but that didn't help. Not when he held a key to my personal ruin in his hands and I was allowed to use it to my heart's content.

"And then just another car came that raced over the intersection at red and-"

My teeth hit my lower lip again and I tasted the blood on my tongue again. I had a more than disgusting feeling than these words on my lips I didn't want to tell any more, that was enough, because he could imagine how the story had ended, I felt dirty.

"I abandoned her. All. In these three years I haven't dared to visit my father. The last time I was at his grave was he was buried. I just couldn't take it. That thought that my father was meters underground and that was because of me. "

After a few seconds of silence, I looked up a little and looked carefully into his eyes. His eyes were filled with pity and empathy." That makes me unbelievable suffering."

He removed his hand from mine, put his arms around my neck, and hugged me. "Craig, you are an incredibly strong person. You've probably been told several times before, but none of that is your fault. You're blaming yourself and I can understand it, but your whole life is still open to you, you shouldn't live in the past. "

My head was leaning against his chest and my tears stained his shirt. I didn't hesitate and wrapped my arms around his torso himself. My fingers reached into the fabric of his top and tensed up.

"How?" I asked curtly.

He didn't think twice. "Tomorrow you will go to your father's grave and put flowers there." Something tightened inside

me. "I can't do that.

Tweek shook his head. "No Craig, you can do it, you're capable of more than you think."

"Stop it, that's not true."

"But Craig, and now shut up. You can do it tomorrow, I'm sure, and you should know one thing. I'm rarely 100% sure about certain things. " Those

are the words I used. Motivating, vulgar and with a loving undertone. Strange mixture, but damn fitting.

Tweek wouldn't let go of me until I calmed down completely and I really didn't want to let go of him at that moment.


End file.
